I've never learned so much

I've never learned so much about myself and my heart's desires and hopes as I have this last year. It's a new year though, and as I go through I know I'll learn only more. Totally lame? Yes, probably, but I made a list in my journal of the big things I've learned about myself and my heart. I will list them at the end of this blog if you care to read them for yourself. Last week, a sort of blizzard hit my great state of residence and I enjoyed it immensely. Being out of school, and being carefree made all the difference in getting things straight in my head. There's these lyrics that spoke straight to my heart over the time period of being stranded at home. "Everything is fine, fine, fine. Through the sunshine and the rain. I've got a peace of mind, You know I can't complain. I make it a point to thank the Lord, when I've got him on the line. I'm feeling good and everything is fine." (: Josh turner's flamin' hot, but that's not the reason I love these lyrics. I don't know, I just feel this way and I know my life is absolutely as perfect as anything I could ever realisticly ask for. I'm really excited also to announce that I'm going to start my first actually book very soon. It's going to be titled "The Silent War" unless I come up with something better while writing it. Okay, I guess I'm done rambling now and will go practice for auditions for TCGT this saturday and for districts next saturday. :3 Love.
Signed,
"At-peace" Kait



My List:

1)I was kicked in the face with once again that I can do nothing of my own strength but only that which comes from my Jesus.

2)Let it all go, and just be a teenager. Screw everything else. Stick to my guns and have fun.

3)Frienship isn't about constantly being together or talking 24/7 but is actually about loving that person above yourself and letting stand in the way of that friendship.

4)Real, and Healthy love is a fragile and rare thing these days, and when you have it you hold on to it and fight for it with everything you have.

5)Confidence. Period.

6)Call me lame, but I'm a country girl and I'm proud of it. And although winter is still my favorite, I have a new found love for the summer.

7)Nobody "lives without regret" or can honestly say "I don't regret anything." BullS. Go look up the definition of regret and then tell me if you don't regret something in your life.

8)Say what you need to say, before time passes and it's too late.

9)My choir teacher finds me shocking and innappropriate and quite frankly many other people probably do to, I just don't really care anymore.

10)Some people AREN'T worth your energy, live like they don't even exist. It's much easier that way.

11) Jesus is faithful. Through every high and low and mistake and regret, he's faithful.

12) my family is life. without them, I die.

AH, crazy stuff;

The break, thus far, has been exactly what I needed. Minus a couple of details. Yes, we've had some major friend drama this last weekend, but we say our peace, we hope that they listen and understand where you're coming from, but you accept at the end of the day taht you can't make their decisions for them, ever. All you can say and do is be there at the end of the day when/if that decision falls apart completely or when/if it comes together more beautifully than ever. Lord, I pray that I was heard. Moving on, yes, it's only three days until christmas and I'm straight flippin' balls. I had christmas with my best friends last night, I got new sanuks, a new chi straightner and a $50 gift card to charlotte Russe. Super excited about all of them. And tomorrow, I work. Wth?! Who works on their christmas break?! I suppose everyone really does, it just sucks butt. I'm geared up and ready to go for Christmas. Everything is bought and wrapped. Except two of my mommy's gifts. My room is clean and ready for the chaos that it will become on December 25th, and lastly my heart is so in awe of my Jesus that I can't explain myself.


Dear Lord: I'm completely broken for you right now, please fix me for you and your kingdom's cause.

KAIT.

Oh my dear blog, how long I have been parted from thee.

So, my life is extremely busy, thus I have not had to the time to blog. Not that my blog nor my few readers are of lesser importance to me than everything else! Anyways, It's coming on Christmas. I love this time of year. ABSOLUTELY LOVE. Seriously, the day of thanksgiving, I release every bit of "holly and jolly-ness" I have held within me for the whole year leading up to this day. I went Christmas Shopping today and picked up a few presents and tomorrow I will for the most part finish up my shopping. I just pray I can make it through this next week of school without completely going insane from the stress of semester tests and other things that drive my nuts on a daily basis at that school. *cough! drama cough!* I've held myself together for this long, surely I can last five more days. Update on the family? Why, sure. My mother is utterly amazing and daily gains more of my love and admiration. My daddy is my daddy and always will be, He's very well. My brother has only two semesters left before grad school in quite possibly Denver, Colorado at the Denver Conservatory of Music. Yes, saddening. My Justin is the most incredible human being of the opposite sex (falling right beneath my daddy) that I've ever met and the fact that he's mine (yes, mine and completely mine, not yours) makes me happier and happier daily. Thoughts of Christmas consume my mind right now, completely. I only have Kenny's, joshua's, Dillon's, and Branson's gifts left to buy. OKay, I'm tired..and getting off here.

all my love,
KAIT.

:3

I have so much to say. I can't say it on here. Goodnight. :3

Deleted post.

Yes, I deleted a post. The post I posted last night out of anger and frustration. I was just as puerile as what I was accusing others of. While, yes I have the full right to say what I want on my blog about whatever events I want but I just want to be more "professional" than that. Being the bigger person always feels better :3 and also because I need not vent on some silly website and become unchristlike whenever I have my Jesus to vent to twenty four seven. :3 TODAY?! Well, it was amazing pretty much. I'm going to Francis Tuttle with my boooy. Yes, I love him with my entire heart. OH! I have him to vent to too, but he doesn't even come close to my Jesus.

YES, my thoughts.

YES, I didn't do my homework this weekend because I don't understand it. YES, I'm going to fail a chemistry test this morning. YES, I'm dropping chemistry this week, in fact i'm going to talk to her today and if she still says no, then I'll let my mother talk to her because I'm too stressed and can't handle it. YES, I'm switching to being mrs. nelsons choir aide first hour. YES, She's the best ever for letting me do that. YES, I know this school year is kicking my butt hardcore. YES, if a certain someone says something to me or my bestfriend today I will kill yanes. YES, i meant to say yanes. YES, i bought sixteen candles on DVD this weekend. YES, my dad needs to fix me tailight. YES, I'm tired of school and need THANKSGIVING BREAK. YES, it's only twelve days away. YES, I have an ortho appt this friday that i'm pretty excited about. YES, I'm proud of my best friend for being bold for love. YES, I'm extremely excited about christmas. YES, I only have to work twice this week. YES, YES, YES. YES, i love my boyfriend with every fiber of my being. YES, I always will. YES, I'm super excited about my life. YES, I'm very stressed and I've been getting sick again. YES, it's because of chemistry. YES, I will be honest and tell you that THIS year, i can't hack it. YES, I'm ready to be a senior. YES YES YES YES, I'm done. (: Have an amazing day.

TODAY:

I will perserve my thoughts for my other blog and journal. My private blog. They would do no good on here other than show my true feelings on certain things and certain people and help my vent but no other good would come from it.


Kait.