AH, crazy stuff;

The break, thus far, has been exactly what I needed. Minus a couple of details. Yes, we've had some major friend drama this last weekend, but we say our peace, we hope that they listen and understand where you're coming from, but you accept at the end of the day taht you can't make their decisions for them, ever. All you can say and do is be there at the end of the day when/if that decision falls apart completely or when/if it comes together more beautifully than ever. Lord, I pray that I was heard. Moving on, yes, it's only three days until christmas and I'm straight flippin' balls. I had christmas with my best friends last night, I got new sanuks, a new chi straightner and a $50 gift card to charlotte Russe. Super excited about all of them. And tomorrow, I work. Wth?! Who works on their christmas break?! I suppose everyone really does, it just sucks butt. I'm geared up and ready to go for Christmas. Everything is bought and wrapped. Except two of my mommy's gifts. My room is clean and ready for the chaos that it will become on December 25th, and lastly my heart is so in awe of my Jesus that I can't explain myself.


Dear Lord: I'm completely broken for you right now, please fix me for you and your kingdom's cause.

KAIT.

Oh my dear blog, how long I have been parted from thee.

So, my life is extremely busy, thus I have not had to the time to blog. Not that my blog nor my few readers are of lesser importance to me than everything else! Anyways, It's coming on Christmas. I love this time of year. ABSOLUTELY LOVE. Seriously, the day of thanksgiving, I release every bit of "holly and jolly-ness" I have held within me for the whole year leading up to this day. I went Christmas Shopping today and picked up a few presents and tomorrow I will for the most part finish up my shopping. I just pray I can make it through this next week of school without completely going insane from the stress of semester tests and other things that drive my nuts on a daily basis at that school. *cough! drama cough!* I've held myself together for this long, surely I can last five more days. Update on the family? Why, sure. My mother is utterly amazing and daily gains more of my love and admiration. My daddy is my daddy and always will be, He's very well. My brother has only two semesters left before grad school in quite possibly Denver, Colorado at the Denver Conservatory of Music. Yes, saddening. My Justin is the most incredible human being of the opposite sex (falling right beneath my daddy) that I've ever met and the fact that he's mine (yes, mine and completely mine, not yours) makes me happier and happier daily. Thoughts of Christmas consume my mind right now, completely. I only have Kenny's, joshua's, Dillon's, and Branson's gifts left to buy. OKay, I'm tired..and getting off here.

all my love,
KAIT.

:3

I have so much to say. I can't say it on here. Goodnight. :3

Deleted post.

Yes, I deleted a post. The post I posted last night out of anger and frustration. I was just as puerile as what I was accusing others of. While, yes I have the full right to say what I want on my blog about whatever events I want but I just want to be more "professional" than that. Being the bigger person always feels better :3 and also because I need not vent on some silly website and become unchristlike whenever I have my Jesus to vent to twenty four seven. :3 TODAY?! Well, it was amazing pretty much. I'm going to Francis Tuttle with my boooy. Yes, I love him with my entire heart. OH! I have him to vent to too, but he doesn't even come close to my Jesus.

YES, my thoughts.

YES, I didn't do my homework this weekend because I don't understand it. YES, I'm going to fail a chemistry test this morning. YES, I'm dropping chemistry this week, in fact i'm going to talk to her today and if she still says no, then I'll let my mother talk to her because I'm too stressed and can't handle it. YES, I'm switching to being mrs. nelsons choir aide first hour. YES, She's the best ever for letting me do that. YES, I know this school year is kicking my butt hardcore. YES, if a certain someone says something to me or my bestfriend today I will kill yanes. YES, i meant to say yanes. YES, i bought sixteen candles on DVD this weekend. YES, my dad needs to fix me tailight. YES, I'm tired of school and need THANKSGIVING BREAK. YES, it's only twelve days away. YES, I have an ortho appt this friday that i'm pretty excited about. YES, I'm proud of my best friend for being bold for love. YES, I'm extremely excited about christmas. YES, I only have to work twice this week. YES, YES, YES. YES, i love my boyfriend with every fiber of my being. YES, I always will. YES, I'm super excited about my life. YES, I'm very stressed and I've been getting sick again. YES, it's because of chemistry. YES, I will be honest and tell you that THIS year, i can't hack it. YES, I'm ready to be a senior. YES YES YES YES, I'm done. (: Have an amazing day.

TODAY:

I will perserve my thoughts for my other blog and journal. My private blog. They would do no good on here other than show my true feelings on certain things and certain people and help my vent but no other good would come from it.


Kait.

ECOCDA and other thoughts;

ECOCDA was amazing. Utterlly amazing like always. What I can tell you is that I'm extremely stressed out about school, and mainly chemistry. I can also tell you that at the turn of the semester I will be getting out of that class and into something else. Anything else. I will be spending my days off this weekend doing homework of many different kinds. English, Trig, Chem, Spanish, and US history. Yes, Five lovely classes all of which I will have some sort of homework in. Moving on from my school related stress, I'm really glad that maybe things are coming together even more beautifully than I could have ever imagined. I'm rather annoyed at this moment, but I should've have just followed the directions, but I never was very good at that and now I'm extremely annoyed. Okay, getting off. I have to work tonight. "/ GOYS.

This blog is where I put my feelings right?

Okay, good just making sure. I realized like a million things today. Productive days make me happy. I've realized today so many different things about myself and about my friends and it makes me laugh. My laugh would be hell on earth if I was ever to wake one day and be told that I could no longer write. The Same with music, if i was to be told I couldn't listen to music...yeah, baaad day in the life of Kaitlin Smith. Congratulations to the One Act performers, I'm proud. I'm asking you not to let this go to your heads though, just a request. Speaking of heads, Mine feels like it's about to fall off, allergies suck butt. So Justin is back to wearing his wranglers and boots and it's HOT. You know part of my feels like maybe the vans and the skinny jeans are him, but the more and more I think about it, it's not. All other people normally think it is, and maybe its just because I do know him like most people don't and so I know it's really not him. I just love him, ha. He's about ready to move in with a one Branson Byrd :D Yeah, excited about that one. My Lord is so amazingly beautiful. Read romans, you'll know. (: Okay, going to do homework, I'll probably get back on tonight and talk more cause I haven't posted in awhile.

Boy Meets World(:

this show is my happy place. Rachel, I'm not gonna blog about what I was going to so just ask me tomorrow ok?

Boys are not alright in the head

They really arent. I can't honestly say girls are either though, in any way, shape, or form. One of my really really good friends Kiersten came into my work tonight bawling because her boyfriend who she lives with and whom she loves entirely did something really really stupid...and she blamed herself..horrible. I've been almost in her exact shoes..exactly. It sucks, and blaming herself is going to do her know good. She has to KNOW that she's good enough and should be treated like the amazing girl she is. Anyways, pray for her? Thanks. Work was good tonight but so so so slow. I didn't have homework(: I'm really glad to just get started on this next nine weeks and not even care about this last night weeks and just do my very very best. Life is sort of aboslutely amazing.I have parents who couldn't be more wonderful. I have true friends who understand me to a degree and stand by me through thick and thin (Talley, Sam, and branson). I have the most perfect boyfriend/best friend on the planet. It's just all so beautiful. Okay, sleep? Please, I need you horribly. Goodnight.


signed,
an "in love with Jesus" Kait

School..."/

Here we go. Today will consist of: missing my boyfriend, wishing i was out of that hell hole, failing a chemistry test, getting all my grades from my classes (yikes..) and dealing with people who should really go back to junior high with all their drama. Don't get me wrong...I LIKE high school. It's fun. and I'm enjoying all the activities I'm partaking in. I just hate it all at the same time. I just have sernioridice already, and i can tell you now it's a good thing I'm barely going to ahve any classes my senior year cause if i did tere's a good chance I'd blow most of them off without even realizing it. Glee concert thursday. (: Yes, I said Glee, and i'm still sticking to my earlier confession/commitement to be done with the word choir. I'm extremely sleepy and I'm feeling a nap today when I get home. Yes. (: Okay, gotta head to that one place. Have an amazing day readers :D

signed,
a premature teenager.

My beautiful life that is constantly messy..

HELLO. Hi. Hey. Yo. I love my life...with my whole heart right? So, this blog should be regarded as my outburst of worthless complaints about the things that are wrong with my life when in all reality my life is pretty gosh darn perfect. I'm stressed beyond reason by school, beyond reason. I have missed because of school activities as well as for an illness and I can guarentee you that I probably went from A's in all my classes to having B's in all of them but maybe four. possibly only three. My real question though, is HONESTLY...why do I feel like I have to be a straight A student...? Tell me. This isn't a rhetorical question. Justin told me this morning that he doesn't understand why I put so much pressure on myself. He told that he just wishes that I would realize that my parents and him and all my true friends just want me to be me because that's when I'm perfect, not when I'm striving for perfection...and he's probably right. All the stress comes from myself, not from my parents. Well that's partly a lie, my real father probably consider my less than 4.0 GPA as another reason to favor my stepsister, but anyways. And I know I'm smart, so what does it really matter as long as I work my very hardest. I'm praying and I've become more peaceful about all of it, plus, it's just a nine weeks grade and I can make it all up in the second half. :D SSOOO, moving on..Today, I got to take a trip just me and my babygirls (Clara Jo and Dani Marie) to their Grandmom and DooDad's house(: haha I'm so glad that I live in my own little world.

@thediaryofahypersensataive: uhm, I love you, and God's will always prevails. Always.



signed,
an overall emotional ball of happy.

I'm still annoyed;

I want to say something so bad, but she'll realize it i'm sure. I'll just keep my mouth shut and avoid a needless conflict. (: Okay, moving on. Work...at FIVE am in the morning. WHO does that?! ugh. So busy...it's stupid. Okay, so this is short and sweet and to the point because I don't have much to say and feel no need to ramble tonight. I need prayer, for anyone who decides they want to read this. Thanks(:

i love my boyfriend/best friend.
signed,
a very annoyed Kait

UGH.

People annoy me. People annoy me so much. It's not that I don't realize that I annoy people too at times, and with some people probably all the time. I do understand this. I just am really annoyed right now. People need to get over themselves. Whatever. I've just decided that I'm going to take Mr. Castle approach...or attempt to take his approach. "You need to be like me. I haven't had a bad day yet."-Mr. Castle. Goodness, I love him. Okay, getting off. Time to go to school, HOMECOMING TODAY! I wish I didn't have to work tonight, but it's allll good :3

signed,
an annoyed but HAPPPPPY Kait

Interesting Night along with intresting feelings;

Today was really good, it went by pretty fast. I have to work homecoming night along with Sunday morning from 5 am to noon, about which I'm very very upset, but whatever. There's a million and two things going through my mind right now, and it's all getting to me. I'm at peace about most of it though, I just cant decide how to go about any of it. Okay, one thing I am proud of about myself is that I'm really open minded to hearing other people's opinions and respecting them and how others feel, but it pisses me off when they don't have to same courtesy for others. Mrs. Shuringa isn't pushing Jesus down anyone's throat, she's doing her job. Have any of the people complaining about it noticed that she's just going in the order that the book goes in. It's not like she's skipping around in the book to all the religious things and only teaching about them. She's doing her job. Yes, it just so happens that the pieces of literature do supporot her personal beliefs but she's not trying to piss anyone off. I don't know, I'm not angry or even annoyed, just frustrated i guess. but whatever. ANYWAYS :3 I had burrito grill tonight, yum! I'm about to get off here and go read Romans. :D My opinion has changed tonight about a certain situation, and I'm glad the Lord changed it. (: I'm gettin off here, GOOOOOODBYE.

Yes, it's my second post today

Get over it hooker. Okay, so just got done watching GLEE. :D haha It's so amazing. I also watched the newest episode of The Big Bang Theory, it's just so funny. :3 I've decided SCREW the word choir. We're the glee club. I'm done saying I'm in choir, I'm in glee. Not choir. Glee sounds a million times better. What am I singing for the glee concert?! I have no idea yet. Any suggestions can be given to me at this time. Okay, It's another short entry, but I'm gonna go finish a little bit of homework and read and write :3 I can promise you this, I love my life.

signed,
an "at peace" Kait

Oh the joys of being sickly

I'm lying here sick and watching 27 dresses. I love this movie so much(: It's just so gosh darn cute. Okay, so I decided that in a million ways I'm overwhelmed but all at the same time I'm so at peace. The Lord is good. The weather is getting colder! :3 I'm super duper excited! I'm already listening to Christmas music. So last week I went to the Tom Petty and ZZ Top concert! Yeah, I'm even more in love with Tom Petty than I was before, which was a lot. Of coruse, ZZ Top will always be amazing. :D I'm reading this amazing book called Two-Way Street. I didn't think I would like it, but I love it. I'm so tired and I think I'm gonna take a nap. "/

Get to know me?!

Odd numbers freak me out. I have ocd about many different things. One of which is my writing, I'll rewrite a whole paragraph if it doesn't look the way I want it too. I drink a lot of water and not much pop. I wear jeans more than I wear anything, and that's because I hate my legs. I can't fix my hair that way I want to to save my life. Chinese food is about the only thing that I could eat twenty four seven. I can't stand when people wear patterns or colors that clash. I'm book smart, and the one thing you could say to piss me off quickly is that i'm stupid. I don't really care that every other girl in the US is saying it, I'm so much like Bella Swan its not even funny, and that's why I read the books and love them so much. I used to play basketball, and I loved it, but things happen. I listen to every type of music. Girls annoy me with their drama. I care about little things way too much and not enough about the big things. I'm the world's best classroom texter. I joke around a lot, and I'm really just a "say it how it is" person. I keep a journal, and I write all the time. Boy meets world is my all time favorite show. I'm blunt, but I know how to keep my mouth shut. When I get really excited about something i make no sense when I talk. My mom is my rock. I probably read more in a year than you can speak. I would rather see someone else laugh, than myself. I'm so clumsy, I hit myself with things and fall down all the time. I have a plan after highschool. I do depend on people more than I should, but only one person. I love going out just as much as I love staying in, which is a lot. Im not high matentience, nor do i cost a lot of money. I have a hard time sitting still. I hate shoes, but since I have to wear them I love them. My feet are always on the dashboard or underneath me. Criss cross apple sauce is my favorite. I never thought I could miss someone so much that I'd never met, but i was wrong. I'm very open minded and would love to hear your view on things, but just remember I have my view too and I'm hardheaded about them. I like the think I can dance, but according to others I can't. I laugh at everything. If you read this all, I love you.

Dirty Dancing

No, I'm not talking about the activity that all the "little" girls at the highschool dances normally take part in. I'm talking about that amazing romantic movie with the ever hot Patrick Swayze. (: What a perfect way to start out a saturday. This soundtrack is epic. Okay, enough about that. Football game? Newcastle? Really? Suck my thumb. AHHHH! Tom Petty in three days! I'm beyond ecstatic. :p This is a short entry because I have nothing more to say. Nothing beats Tom Petty. (;

signed,
a daydreaming Kait

My beautiful rescue

Call me crazy. Color me childish. I don't really care. I'm in love. Period. I'm happy. Yes, love can be lost. Yes, love scares me, but living without him because of fear scares me more. So, fear enables me to face fear? Whatever. lol So what if he makes fun of me all day long because I blog, and write, and love to read?! It's really a beautiful picture if you imagine it. ha! Okay, moving on, Today has been amazing. I'm going to see bestfriend sam tonight. WHAAAAT NIGGGGA?! OH, snap, update on my life: completely carefree and breezy. Today i was comparing the most important people and things in my life to inanimate objects, haha, wanna hear? Okay, my parents are my clouds, they shield me from the harsh rays of the world and refresh me. Just like the clouds. Justin is my pointer/index finger (i prefer pointer cause i don't have page numbers or titles on m y finer and index just makes no sense to me), I never once wonder why he's here or by my side, I just know and love the fact that without him life would be miserable. Just like my pointer finger. Rachel is my magnet, she's always by me (not neccessarily physically but ya), and just like a magnet you get from Alaska or the statue of liberty she reminds me of the places I've been and the places I loved and the places I never want to be again. AAAnnd, cause I LOVE magnets and think that they're super immortal ability to stick around amazes me. (; Oh lord, I have sooo many of these i thought of today(: I wrote them all down, they're pretty amazing. That's enough for you though. Time to get ready to see bestfriend sam. Poor guy "/

Are we alive, or just breathing?

I'm not afraid to stand alone
or walk a path that's all my own.
I'm not afraid to say goodbye,
I tell you still I will not cry.
I'm not afraid of love that shatters,
My heart refuses to pitter patter.
I'm not afraid to hear your lies
No part of me can you tie.
I'm not afraid to tell a tale so tall
I have to say none of this is true at all.
I'm not afraid to stand alone,
I prefer to stand by the one to whom my heart is sown.
I'm not afraid to say goodbye,
but to the Lord my heart will cry.
I greatly fear our love to shatter,
only for you my heart pitter patters.
I'm afraid to ever hear your lies,
every part of me to you is tied.
I'm not afraid to tell a tale so tall
I have to say in your arms I did fall.

Friday Night Lights(:

As much as I hate high school, I love high school. I love Friday night football games. They make me week. My friends are amazing. Those who really ARE my friends are at least. I've decided that what's done is done, I can't change anything and that I hope he's happy. OBVIOUSLY, He isn't the same guy i knew anyways.... My legs are tired and I have NO idea why. lol Jonas L.A.? yes, please. I freaking love this show, and if I ever meet the jonas brothers you can bet anything I will cry. :D Sooo much studying to do this weekend. I'm so sick of school work all ready.

Thank Jesus for:
My parents and grandparents.
Justin Wayne.
Rachel Talley.
Kelsie Wright.
Courtney Fuller.
Austin Cantrel.
Samuel Hayworth.
and Branson Byrd.

Life is like a game of marbles..

I'm sitting here playing a game called wahoo with my parents and the love of my life. (: It's such a fun game. I'm thinking about the goal of the game, and life really is exactly like this game. Everyone's rolling the dice, taking chances on trying to make it home and be safe. While we are all rolling the dice and taking our own chances, people are constantly looking to knock someone off the board. People are always trying to keep quiet hoping that others won't see their ulterior motives to every move. I dont neccessarily everyone in the entire world is like this, but I do think in general the world is. It's sad really. Anyways, that was just an observation. I love this game actually, it's exciting. :D Last night was pretty great, I'm always so reminded how much I'm loved. Tomorrow, I meet with my real dad, and Lord help me. I'm hoping i can make a trip to norman tomorrow, but I don't know. Okay, getting off. I'll probably write later.

signed,
a lazy Kait

Birthday day

and I'm sitting on my couch, watching ET. What the poop? Oh well, I chose to do this instead of go to a football game. I am so tired right now. I'm talking to Jonthomas and SAM, but jonthomas and I are figuring some stuff out...I hope. I don't even know anymore. Sometimes I just have to realiaze that what I've done is done and I can't change it, so I just need to move on. Wow, and Hudson just texted me. WHY..? People wear me thin, and I can't please everyone. I stand by my theory that we are all just over exaggerated movie characters. Okay, I'm shutting up.

signed,
a worn out Kait.

Let's just start over and start at square one

This is going to be my online diary. You'll come to find that my life isn't really all the interesting, but I sure do love it. I'm not sure how to explain anything that's going on in my head at the moment, except that it's my seventeenth birthday and I'm completely excited. Yeah, only a year left, and the law considers me an adult. Goodness, I can't wait for that either. I've realized so many things about myself lately. Like, I have absolutely no patience for stupidity, yet I'm so stupid sometimes. Although, I at least try with my whole heart not to be. I'm fixing a few things, literally as we speak. Ugh, i have a birthday headache. do those exist? Cause I have one. I don't know. Just bare with me, cause this is going to hopefully be a daily semi daily thing.


happy birthday me!

signed,
a 17 year old Kait