A big ol' dent in my senior summer.

Well, when it rains it pours. That's all there is to it. Life is incredible at the moment and is completely screwed up at the moment. I have a blessed life, more than I realize everyday. Today, this morning actually, I went to the funeral of my amazing very close friend Molly Ann, of 17 years old. She's forever 17 in her hometown and is gone...and although I'm broken and searching for strength and answers, I know that for her, I'm going to live this year right, and this life..I'm going to live it right.

On a happy note, I have a date tonight with an adorable man, and I'm hoping that it goes even more smoothly than I have it all planned out in my head. (YEAH RIGHT) But I'm excited, and I'm ready. I know that my best friends are more than I've ever deserved, ever. I have amazing teachers that took time out of their schedules to comfort me and hug me this morning when I was at one of the lowest points I've ever been. I have a lot on my mind, but nothing that my Jesus isn't giving me a peace about.

I've gotta watch my dr. phil before I go to work, so I'm shutting up for now. You can guarantee though, that tomorrow I will put every detail of my date on here. Just for safe keeping of the memory (:


new life begins...NOW.

Kait

Oh, to be free.

I am newly single. I know my title of this entry sounds "tre harsh", but honestly, I'm excited to just be me for awhile. I'm young and I'm extrememly stoked to figure out who I am and have a single summer to do and be whomever I want. Justin meant everything to me, and he was my world for a year and a half, and I don't regret a day of it. I just know there's better out there for me obviously since he ended it. Tonight, I go eat with the most incredible best guy friend I could ever ask for, ever. Guys are bombarding me left and right and idk how to tell if they like me for me or just want to f*** me. I'm learning though. I went to trinity, and I'm relieved to say that I felt very comfortable going back and plan on going back more and more often. I love it so much more there than I ever remembered. I'm glad I'm not letting little petty worries and feelings get in the way of me learning more and being a part of a congregation that wants more than anything else on the Earth to SERVE Christ Jesus and Love him and learn about him more and more in depth every single day. It's going to be a wonderful summer (:


I'm gonna start blogging everyday while at work, hopefully. We all know how that goes though.

signed,
an at peace Kait

SUMMER 2011!! :3

< 3 All I know is it's summer, that's all i really NEED to know. My job is incredible, I'm a senior, I turn eighteen in 3 months and two weeks, i get my braces off in not even a full three weeks. Granted, there's a situation that is driving me insane that i cannot figure out, but that will come with time i'm sure. I'm so sure that this summer is going to be one of the best i've ever had or will ever have. School ended well, and thank God it ended. I honestly am so proud that i survived my junior year, next year is cake compared to what I had to do this year. My stress is out the window, i'm riding with the music loud and my boston hat on as much as possible. I have the most amazing best friends and boyfriend in the entire world. What more could I possibly ask for?! I don't know but I don't plan on ever letting go of this feeling. EPIC SENIOR CLASS!


signed,
a very excited Kait

Life rolls On.

Facts I know without a doubt:
My boyfriends = greater than you.
I'm just me, and I can't change that.
I love my school, and I cannot wait to be a senior.
I don't fit perfectly anywhere.
The previous statement is perfectly okay with me.
Music speaks louder to me than any word spoken.

I'm done living my life for anyone else, I've said it a billion times before and I pray this time it's accurate.

I've never learned so much

I've never learned so much about myself and my heart's desires and hopes as I have this last year. It's a new year though, and as I go through I know I'll learn only more. Totally lame? Yes, probably, but I made a list in my journal of the big things I've learned about myself and my heart. I will list them at the end of this blog if you care to read them for yourself. Last week, a sort of blizzard hit my great state of residence and I enjoyed it immensely. Being out of school, and being carefree made all the difference in getting things straight in my head. There's these lyrics that spoke straight to my heart over the time period of being stranded at home. "Everything is fine, fine, fine. Through the sunshine and the rain. I've got a peace of mind, You know I can't complain. I make it a point to thank the Lord, when I've got him on the line. I'm feeling good and everything is fine." (: Josh turner's flamin' hot, but that's not the reason I love these lyrics. I don't know, I just feel this way and I know my life is absolutely as perfect as anything I could ever realisticly ask for. I'm really excited also to announce that I'm going to start my first actually book very soon. It's going to be titled "The Silent War" unless I come up with something better while writing it. Okay, I guess I'm done rambling now and will go practice for auditions for TCGT this saturday and for districts next saturday. :3 Love.
Signed,
"At-peace" Kait



My List:

1)I was kicked in the face with once again that I can do nothing of my own strength but only that which comes from my Jesus.

2)Let it all go, and just be a teenager. Screw everything else. Stick to my guns and have fun.

3)Frienship isn't about constantly being together or talking 24/7 but is actually about loving that person above yourself and letting stand in the way of that friendship.

4)Real, and Healthy love is a fragile and rare thing these days, and when you have it you hold on to it and fight for it with everything you have.

5)Confidence. Period.

6)Call me lame, but I'm a country girl and I'm proud of it. And although winter is still my favorite, I have a new found love for the summer.

7)Nobody "lives without regret" or can honestly say "I don't regret anything." BullS. Go look up the definition of regret and then tell me if you don't regret something in your life.

8)Say what you need to say, before time passes and it's too late.

9)My choir teacher finds me shocking and innappropriate and quite frankly many other people probably do to, I just don't really care anymore.

10)Some people AREN'T worth your energy, live like they don't even exist. It's much easier that way.

11) Jesus is faithful. Through every high and low and mistake and regret, he's faithful.

12) my family is life. without them, I die.

AH, crazy stuff;

The break, thus far, has been exactly what I needed. Minus a couple of details. Yes, we've had some major friend drama this last weekend, but we say our peace, we hope that they listen and understand where you're coming from, but you accept at the end of the day taht you can't make their decisions for them, ever. All you can say and do is be there at the end of the day when/if that decision falls apart completely or when/if it comes together more beautifully than ever. Lord, I pray that I was heard. Moving on, yes, it's only three days until christmas and I'm straight flippin' balls. I had christmas with my best friends last night, I got new sanuks, a new chi straightner and a $50 gift card to charlotte Russe. Super excited about all of them. And tomorrow, I work. Wth?! Who works on their christmas break?! I suppose everyone really does, it just sucks butt. I'm geared up and ready to go for Christmas. Everything is bought and wrapped. Except two of my mommy's gifts. My room is clean and ready for the chaos that it will become on December 25th, and lastly my heart is so in awe of my Jesus that I can't explain myself.


Dear Lord: I'm completely broken for you right now, please fix me for you and your kingdom's cause.

KAIT.

Oh my dear blog, how long I have been parted from thee.

So, my life is extremely busy, thus I have not had to the time to blog. Not that my blog nor my few readers are of lesser importance to me than everything else! Anyways, It's coming on Christmas. I love this time of year. ABSOLUTELY LOVE. Seriously, the day of thanksgiving, I release every bit of "holly and jolly-ness" I have held within me for the whole year leading up to this day. I went Christmas Shopping today and picked up a few presents and tomorrow I will for the most part finish up my shopping. I just pray I can make it through this next week of school without completely going insane from the stress of semester tests and other things that drive my nuts on a daily basis at that school. *cough! drama cough!* I've held myself together for this long, surely I can last five more days. Update on the family? Why, sure. My mother is utterly amazing and daily gains more of my love and admiration. My daddy is my daddy and always will be, He's very well. My brother has only two semesters left before grad school in quite possibly Denver, Colorado at the Denver Conservatory of Music. Yes, saddening. My Justin is the most incredible human being of the opposite sex (falling right beneath my daddy) that I've ever met and the fact that he's mine (yes, mine and completely mine, not yours) makes me happier and happier daily. Thoughts of Christmas consume my mind right now, completely. I only have Kenny's, joshua's, Dillon's, and Branson's gifts left to buy. OKay, I'm tired..and getting off here.

all my love,
KAIT.